


Not Like This

by Capsicle2013



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Tragedy, Blood and Injury, Character Death, First Kiss, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt Tony Stark, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Pain, Serious Injuries, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Whump, and last
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:15:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23059864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Capsicle2013/pseuds/Capsicle2013
Summary: Confessing his feelings for Steve wasn't supposed to be like this.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 19
Kudos: 119





	Not Like This

**Author's Note:**

> Here I am writing sad stuff again. I got this idea when I was supposed to be sleeping, and decided to post it so I can stop thinking about it and get back to my other stories. I've already warned you with the tags and other warnings. I swear I will try writing something more fluffy! But angst just comes so easy to me!

Splitting up had been their first mistake. At the time, separating themselves from the rest of the team had made sense; they had a lot of ground to cover. It had been Steve’s call- he was the leader of the group. Tony was wishing now that they had come up with a better plan.

It’s too late to dwell on what they could have done differently, and he forces himself to push forward into the dark tunnels. Out of all the Hydra bases they had taken down, this one had to be the most complex. The narrow man-made tunnels twist and turn in every direction, making what lies at the end of them unknown and only fueling the dreadful feeling Tony has carried with him since he first stepped foot in them.

Steve doesn’t appear affected by them, and with his shield held in front of him, he presses onward, the goal of taking down Hydra the only thing on his mind. Tony admires his bravery and ambition. Not that he was calling himself a coward, but something was wrong. Those red flags are waving and alarm bells are blaring. But he trusts Steve.

The silence is unnerving. Every crunch of Steve’s boots and the metallic sounds Tony’s suit make against the dirt covered path echoes in the darkness. Tony doesn’t rely on the dimly lit lights hanging on the stone walls to guide them; his trusty A.I. is what prepares him for any threats that may be ahead.

So far they’ve yet to come across any of Hydra’s men and Tony begins to wonder if the tunnels were abandoned. Previous bases they’ve taken had still been operating, but maybe luck was on their side and they didn’t need to worry about anymore fights. Not that those fights hadn’t been exciting and beneficial, but they were risky and often left the team battered and bruised.

But that was in the job description of an Avenger; they were going to get dirty and bloody. Tony understood that clearly, but that didn’t mean he enjoyed it. He was still recovering from their last mission. Steve, like always, came out strong. Tony was almost envied him for coming out of every mission with barely a scratch. It’s the serum; Steve probably wouldn’t be able to survive without it. But Tony often wonders how reliable that serum was. He doesn’t want to think about that now, though.

With no obvious threat in sight and FRIDAY’s assurance that they were alone, Tony is able to relax, his shoulders sagging with relief. This assignment should be easy then; all they have to do is collect whatever information Hydra left behind and get out of the tunnels safely. By the rate they were going, they could make it back to the tower by dinner. This time without having to see anyone in the medical bay first.

Tony likes the idea of getting to have dinner with his friends. They’ll order something from every takeout restaurant in the city, maybe watch a movie and just relax. It’s something they haven’t done in a while. A new assignment was always given to them, and when that one was completed, another was being planned, leaving no room for down time.

It’s not just the thought of spending time with his teammates that makes Tony excited. He wants to get Steve alone, steal him away from the rest of the team for just a moment and talk. Maybe even more than talk, but Tony doesn’t want to scare him away. Admitting any of his feelings has always been difficult, but these new feelings that have blossomed can’t be ignored and the urge to spill them to Steve becomes too much.

He never thought he’d have feelings for the famous Captain. Back when he was a kid, Captain America had been his idol, someone he looked up to and wanted to be one day. That didn’t change as he got older. Though Steve Rogers could be difficult and they butt heads more times than Tony can count, that didn’t change his perspective.

Steve was more than just Captain America or a man out of time. He was a brave and selfless leader, always willing to fight and defend anyone that needed it. His needs were always put last, something Tony learned to hate the more those feelings for the soldier grew.

There were times when he wanted Steve to stop trying to be the hero and focus on himself for once, but Steve was also very stubborn and the chances of him putting himself first were slim. Tony in a way could relate to that. He too was always doing something that could have gotten himself killed or others he cared deeply about. It wasn’t an act to prove to the world that Tony Stark was more than just some billionaire playboy-Tony cared about the people he loved, and he’d be willing to sacrifice everything to keep those people safe.

Tony’s unaware of just how long his trip down memory lane has taken, but when he comes back to reality, Steve has stopped, shield raised even higher than what Tony remembers. FRIDAY is assisting before Tony can get a word out, warning him about the guards at the end of the tunnel.

“There’s only a handful of them,” Tony decides to pass on the information his A.I. has been given him to Steve. “You think you can handle that, Big Guy?”

Steve turns to look at him, his lips curving into a playful grin. “I was just about to ask you the same thing.”

The light teasing eases the tension that Tony had been feeling during a majority of the mission. With Steve’s confidence giving him his own, he’s ready to push forward, to fight and avenge another day.

It all goes downhill so fast. Something that they’ve done a thousand times and could probably do in their sleep, took a different turn. They hadn’t been careful enough, had failed to keep an eye on their surroundings.

The walls are crumbling around them; the ground shaking and unstable. Somewhere around him Hydra’s men are screaming in terror, their voices eventually drowning out by the roar of the walls caving in on themselves. Some of the men had managed to escape before the tunnel gave in; the few that were unlucky get caught beneath the rubble.

“Tony!” Steve is calling out to him, rushing over with his shield held high to cover Tony from the falling concrete above them.

Tony hits the ground first, his head throbbing and vision fuzzy. The noises around him begin to fade, until he’s surrounded in darkness.

* * *

He comes to with a sharp intake of air and immediately retracts his helmet. With a groan, Tony pushes himself onto his knees, eyes glancing down to take in the damage of his suit. The arc reactor in the center glows dimly, flickering in the dark; Tony hopes it stays lit a little longer.

“Fri?” He asks, silently praying for her response. “Sweetheart, you there?”

“I’m here, Boss,” she says, making Tony sigh in relief.

“How bad is it?”

“Multiple contusions and a mild concussion.”

Tony reaches up to inspect his head, hissing when his fingers brush against the sensitive bump. “That’s not too bad,” he tells the A.I. “I’ve been through worse.”

With only mild injuries, Tony forces himself to his feet, swaying slightly and reaching out to grasp onto a piece of fallen concrete to steady himself. The dust clears and his eyes begin to adjust, granting him vision of the destruction. The first thing he notices is that Steve was missing.

“Steve!” Tony calls out, pushing forward in search of his friend. The dust enters his lungs and he coughs, stopping to catch his breath. “Cap!” he tries again, only to be answered with silence.

He keeps moving, careful with every step. Bodies of the fallen Hydra men are buried beneath the wreckage, but Steve is nowhere to be found.

“Come on, Cap,” Tony whispers to himself, his heart clenching with each step he takes.

The tunnel is blocked off, preventing him from accessing the rest of the compound. His eyes strain for any sign of Steve, silently praying that he finds him. He steps forward, tripping over what he assumes is a fragment of rock, only to discover that Steve’s shield is laying underneath his feet. Tony picks it up, eyes quickly scanning around for the owner.

Then he sees it-an arm is hanging out from under one of the piles of debris; the blue material surrounding it is easily distinguishable. He rushes over.

The shield drops, the sound bouncing off the ruined walls. Tony musters up the strength to lift the heavy pieces off of Steve’s body. His limp form begins to come into view, urging Tony to keep going. With Steve free from the ruins, Tony drops down beside him, one hand coming out to rest on Steve’s chest.

“Steve? Hey, wake up. It’s me.” Tony is once again greeted with silence. “Come on, buddy. Wake up.”

A sharp gasp leaves Steve’s bloodied lips, blue eyes shooting open. He tries to move his head, wincing from the ache that shoots through his skull. His eyes dart around the space before locking with Tony’s. “Tony? What happened?”

“You tried to be the hero again. Saved my ass back there.”

“You’re bleeding.”

Tony frowns in confusion and reaches a hand up to investigate his face, fingers coming back sticky with blood. “It’s nothing,” he assures. “You look like hell.”

“I feel like it, too.” Steve winces again when he tries to move. When it becomes apparent that he can’t, Tony steps in to help him up, only to back off when Steve cries out. “Don’t. It hurts. Everything hurts.”

Those words make Tony’s stomach churn. He allows his eyes to roam over Steve’s body, taking in every bruise and scratch. The suit is torn up along his chest and abdomen-but there’s no sight of blood. His right leg appears fine, but the left is twisted in a grotesque fashion. The material of the suit there is bloodied and torn.

“Dammit,” Tony curses. There was no way Steve was going to be able to apply pressure to that leg. Walking out together was out of the question. “What else hurts?”

Steve struggles to get the words out, heavy pants slipping past his lips with each attempt to speak. “Everything,” he manages to get out. His gaze travels down to his middle and Tony follows, noticing the deep purple bruise under Steve’s skin. Tony knows exactly what that means.

“Hey, look at me,” Tony orders, and their eyes are meeting again. “You’re gonna be okay. I’m gonna get you out of here.”

Steve shakes his head. “I know what this is. I’m dying, Tony.”

“No. No, you’re not...Steve, you’re not going to die. We’re getting out of here.”

“I can’t-” The coughs that wrack through him are painful, his chest burning with each cough and intake of air. His mouth fills with copper, overflowing until its trailing out the side. His body aches, the pain like anything he’s ever experienced before. He wasn’t getting out of this. “Tony...I-I can’t.”

“Come on, Steve don’t do this. You have to keep fighting, remember?” Tony doesn’t wait for a response this time and he rises to his feet, ready to use up the last bit of power to clear a path for them. But then Steve is reaching out for him, blue eyes pleading for him to stay.

“Don’t go. Stay with me. I don’t...I don’t want to be alone again.”

Tony sighs harshly. Of course Steve has had to go through this before. Though the first time he sacrificed his life, it didn’t have a permanent result. Steve didn’t know that then, and he had been lucky to survive the plane crash. But this...Tony couldn’t say for sure if he would survive this. The injuries were too severe and the serum wasn’t coming through like it should.

“You’re not going to be alone. I won’t leave you.” It’s a promise. Tony frees himself from the suit, wanting to feel Steve’s hand in his own while he still can. FRIDAY had assured that help would be on their way, but Tony was having trouble believing that they would arrive on time.

Steve’s condition worsens with each passing minute. The harsh pants he emits are difficult to hear, and Tony wishes he could ease the pain. He keeps Steve’s hand in his own, gently brushing his thumb along the gloved knuckles.

“You know,” Tony speaks, breaking the silence that surrounds them. “This wasn’t how I was expecting today to go. We were supposed to get out okay and have the night off for once. Maybe get some dinner and watch a movie.”

“Kind of...sounds like a...a date,” Steve says, each word laced with pain.

Tony smiles softly down at him. “I was hoping it would. And I was hoping you would-” Tony pauses, biting back the words he had been wanting to say for months. This was now how he wanted to express his feelings for Steve.

“Yes.” Tony stares at Steve, brows drawing together in confusion. “I would...say y-yes. But I’m a little...old-fashioned; I’d want to...take you….out.”

Tony lets out a wet laugh and glances down, hiding his tear-filled eyes from Steve’s gaze. “I didn’t know you thought about me like that,” he glances up again, just in time to catch the small smile on Steve’s face.

“I should have said…” Steve trails off, eyes clenching shut and gripping Tony’s hand harder. He lets out a shaky breath, mouth opening and closing as he tries to finish speaking. Tony doesn’t let him.

“Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay. Just hang on, Steve. We’ll get that movie date soon.”

“I might need a...a raincheck for that date.”

The tears are getting harder to contain, and they begin to flow freely down Tony’s face. He sniffs and uses his free hand to wipe them away, but they continue to fall.

“Damn you, Rogers. You’re not supposed to do this. You’re not supposed to tell me you have feelings for me and then...and then…” Tony chokes back a sob. He needs to stay calm, to stay strong. If not for himself then for Steve.

“Tony, I’m s-sorry.” Steve squeezes Tony’s hand again, using the last of his strength to offer an apology.

“Don’t do this. Please don’t do this. Don’t leave me alone, Steve. Please!” Tony begs. He can’t imagine losing Steve. He needs him.

“T-Tony, I...l-love you.”

“I love you, too. I should have said it sooner. I should have taken you on that stupid date. I should-”

“Kiss me,” Steve’s voice is so low that for a second Tony almost didn’t hear him. Tony nods and slowly leans in, careful not to apply too much pressure to Steve’s broken body. Their lips meet; the kiss isn’t what Tony had pictured. Their first kiss was never supposed to be their last.

Tony feels the last breath of air Steve takes against his lips.


End file.
